30 Poems in 30 Days. Day five: HEADLINES.



This little poetic snippet is composed of the so-called “headlines” from the dating site I am currently on. These come under your profile name and are meant to catch the eye of potential paramours.

I’ve taken several, quite randomly, and interspersed them with my thoughts as I read these profiles.

I don’t pretend that this is up for the Newcastle Poetry Prize. It is, like Ravel’s oddly popular “Bolero”, merely an exercise in orchestration.




I always have warm hands 😉

That can’t be normal. He must have some disease.

always wanting excitement

Well get better hobbies. That would help.

genuine gem

Genuine wanker.

Seeking the company of a fine woman

Oh apparently a fine SLIM woman.

Come and do some riding with me

That photo is disgusting!

Super Fit & Well Hung!! 

Clearly he needs to see more penises.

Looking to enjoy, explore and expand boundaries

In other words, he wants anal

Funny, intelligent and fit 🙂

Apparently his definition of intelligent is not mine

Love to Kiss

That means he’ll be all sloppy tongues.


Yeah. Everything except your English.

i go all out to get what i like

This one’s clearly generous to a fault

Bad Bunnys new sex toy

What does that even MEAN?

lonely and looking for a chat

Yes. Yes. So am I.



2 thoughts on “30 Poems in 30 Days. Day five: HEADLINES.

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