30 poems in 30 days: Day Four. Dating the Barbarians.



Those of you who follow this blog (and I love you all!!) would know that my adventures on the dating scene have been less than perfect.

Today, I was stood up for lunch. Which would not have been quite so bad had I not also been stood up yesterday as well. Not by the same, guy, I hasten to add. So I am sitting here, eating toast, instead of the beef vindaloo I was working myself up to.

Needless to say, this has not put me in the greatest of moods.

So today’s poem has channeled some of that spleen.

One of my favourite poets is Cavafy. He also suffered many a disappointment in love. I have taken one of his most famous (and fabulous) poems, “Waiting for the Barbarians” and made it my own homage to dating.

I must say, I managed to make myself laugh out loud as I wrote this.
I think Cavafy  would approve…


What am I waiting for? All gathered in the foyer?

The barbarians are coming today.

Why is there such inertia in the kitchen?

Why am I just sitting here, not doing my paperwork?

Because the Barbarians are coming today.

When the Barbarians come, they will not care about my kitchen

Or my paperwork.

Why am I out of bed so early?

Waxed and pimped and dressed-up?

Because the barbarians are coming and I want to look my best

lest I offend their delicate sensibilities.

Why are both my breasts delicately poised on the edge of escape?

Why is my arse swathed in fine cloth?

Because the Barbarians are coming today

And such things are known to dazzle Barbarians.

Why don’t I pontificate at length and expound on my views?

Because the Barbarians are coming today

And they are bored by eloquence and long discourse.

Why has such anxiety come upon me all at once?

Why such confusion?

Because lunch came and the Barbarians never appeared.

What am I going to do now, without Barbarians?

Those men. They were a kind of solution.



2 thoughts on “30 poems in 30 days: Day Four. Dating the Barbarians.

  1. Been there done that. Not twice in a row…that’s impressive! But when you have paid for the baby sitter it really stinks!

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